Have you ever truly thought about who you are fundamentally as a person? Have you put pen to paper and drafted your strengths, your weaknesses? What do you like about yourself versus dislike? Have you corroborated your thoughts by asking your family or friends?

Sometimes we are afraid to dig into this level of consciousness or receive this feedback out of fear of not being worthy. We as humans seek validation in the form of acceptance as an underlying need. Finding people you connect with is imperative to your social well-being. And being accepted by this social circle validates your need of being worthy.

But when does acceptance by others become a fallacy?

Our society is fixated on instant gratification. We want ‘likes’. We want ‘followers’. We want people to say ‘I’m attractive’. We want to be valued so we seek approval from others to achieve popularity, success, respect, love and as a result we feel instant validation. And the stamp of approval which reads ‘I am worthy’ is now imprinted in our head.

Because we seek instant validation our souls can get lost in the act of appealing to the egos of others.When you climb that hill of trying to impress others, so they will think highly of you, then you also accept the challenge of fighting your inner turmoil of who you truly are.

How can you be everything to everyone? You cannot. Rejection is a part of life. People have different upbringings, and we live in a world of diverse cultures--this shapes our values and beliefs. People observe how others behave and measure that behavior against their own values. They then decide if people are ‘good’ or ‘bad’, ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, ‘I like’ or ‘ I don’t like’.

You cannot be everything to everyone. Rejection stings—albeit a bit more than we like sometimes.Sometimes we sit with that rejection trying to determine how to swing the needle in our favor. But when someone rejects you, they reject your identity. They have decided you have not passed THEIR tests of acceptance therefore you are relegated to an inferior position. People share their disapproval via criticism, shunning or hatred and this perpetuates your need to be accepted out of fear.

For what?

For acceptance by someone who cannot accept the real you. If anything, rejection (like all feelings) is a signal. A signal for you to turn away and find solace in those that do accept who you truly are. If you are relentlessly chasing acceptance from others, you need to look within yourself and understand what you feel you are lacking that others can satiate.

Liberate yourself and learn to radically turn away from people who will not honor you with acceptance. This is not the place for you. This will never be the place for you unless you change, conform, and ultimately satisfy their egos. I ask who are these people that determine what’s acceptable and what’s not? If you look closer, these people have defined what’s acceptable for them. You also have the power and freedom to decide what’s acceptable for you.